How to gain confidence and take action: 9 ideas to make your dreams come true.
My boss and I were waiting for him in the office. This was the Regional Director. He’s the one who needs to be convinced to get my chance.
He comes in and starts talking loudly as he walks through the office.
– “You’re too young.” – “You’ve barely made it a year in your job.” – “This new job is much harder.”
I understand that he is testing me in his own way. I answer.
– “I hear you and confirm that I really want to do this.”
– “He’s stubborn too.” – “I’m warning you, you better succeed; I want you in the top 10 sellers.”
I interrupt him politely.
– “Why in the top 10,” I want to be the first.”
He ended up giving me the job, and I did very well.
Confidence is the characteristic that distinguishes those who imagine, from those who do. It is the stuff that turns thoughts into action -The Confidence Code, buy Kathy Kay and Claire Shipman
“I want to gain clarity and confidence.”
This is one of the points that comes up most often in coaching .
And it’s understandable. Who wouldn’t want to have more?
The good news, it’s possible to create it. Confidence cannot be decreed. It must be created.
Dan Sullivan has codified it in the following diagram.
The 4 C’S Formula-Dan Sullivan
We don’t need it to get started. It comes after we get started.
Confidence comes from action.
So, here are 9 ideas to help us launch our actions more often and gain confidence:
1/ What do I really want to do?
What gave me the strength to impose myself in this exchange with this intimidating boss despite my young age? I knew what I wanted to do. At the time, I had a Mind Map with my professional options and a form of life plan.
And one of those secret options was to become General Manager of one of the group’s subsidiaries.
Getting the next job was a necessary step.
As in Dan’s scheme, I was mentally committed. It gave me the courage to say what I thought.
2/The impostor syndrome.
I hear this debate often. Do you feel it or not?
With the underlying idea that it must be fought.
I don’t believe it…
If we don’t have it, we are certainly locked in our comfort zone. And it is not a good place to live.
Like many of you, I want to learn, develop and grow. I’m not trying to avoid imposter syndrome. I’m trying to encounter it more often and deal with it better.
Let’s not try not to be afraid anymore. Let’s try to control our fears better.
If confidence is earned through action, creating time to do what we care about is vital. It reminds us that confidence without action is nothing. Even the most confident man in the world cannot perform in a marathon without training. This is the link to “capability” in Dan’s diagram. I’ve grouped 3 ideas under this hat:
3/ Less is more.
Michelangelo understood this clearly. When the Pope asked about the secret of his genius, particularly in regard to the statue of David, Michelangelo explained, “It’s simple. I just remove everything that is not David.” – 10x Is Easier Than 2x par Benjamin Hardy
To improve my sales skills then, I blocked out time to read, summarize my notes, practice, and analyze myself after each appointment…
5/ The sooner the better
Being out of our comfort zone equals activities that require us to make effort.
Writing, for example, brings me a lot of pleasure and benefits. It helps me think more clearly, make better decisions, and brings me almost all my new clients in my coaching business.
But it takes a lot of effort. My solution is to put it on my agenda as soon as possible.
I write in the morning. No matter what happens next, I got my win for the day.
6/ 5…4…3…2…1 here we go
If, like me, you have spent a lot of time on a diving board, not daring to jump. You observe that many people who are afraid give themselves courage by counting to X before throwing themselves.
And this is the technique proposed by Mel Robins in his book“The 5 second Rule“.
When we have trouble getting out of bed, or concentrating, we can always start counting down and just go for it…
7/ What will it cost me to do nothing?
Remembering what it would cost us in the long run not to ask, propose our idea, or pursue our project, motivates us to get started. I see this question working miracles in many coaching sessions.
8/ I don’t want to talk nonsense
Perfection pushes us towards this idea. It’s more comfortable but doesn’t help us in our quest for confidence.
In addition, complex topics rarely have right answers, they are nuanced. So we might as well give our opinion to help the group move forward. And if the future should prove us wrong (the only way to know), acknowledging it and congratulating those who had better anticipated it increases our credibility.
9/ Ask others
– “Spread your arms again. They must be parallel.”
That’s what my swimming teacher used to tell me to help me improve my freestyle. In the water, I felt like I was exaggerating the movement and not being parallel.
We can’t really see what we’re doing when we’re looking to improve. Chosen people around us can help. And in our quest to launch our actions, they hold us accountable for what we said we would do.
An excellent way to gain some, improve our ability to launch our actions.
That’s what these 9 ideas allow us to do.
Next week, we continue our exploration of the 10 principles that helped me achieve my dreams…(And might help you achieve yours) with point #6, “Falling in love with the practice and doing projects that make us tick.”
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