I am in a phase of rereading books that have impacted me.
And What Got You Here Won’t Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith is one of them.
Marshall’s mission is to help successful people become better.
The Method
He doesn’t deal with strategy, finance, technique, or technology.
He focuses on only one thing: behavior.
Having coached the world’s greatest CEOs, he concluded that the higher you go, the less it’s about technical competencies.
But changing behavior as an adult (even more so when you are successful) is one of the most difficult tasks.
We tend to associate our success with everything we do. Including our bad behaviors.
“I got here by not listening much. It’s certainly because it saves me time.”
Marshall’s role, reinforcing good beliefs and changing bad ones.
He has developed a unique method of stakeholder-based coaching. He interviews the people around (pro and personal), choose with the leader the behavior to be improved based on the feedback, and organizes the follow-up for 12 to 18 months.
(I have been trained and certified by Marshall and his teams in this method. If you’re interested, you can read more here).
The result. The leaders improve.
And finally, the book is for all of us. Because we all have behaviors to change.
4 ideas that stuck with me
1 – Winning too much
Our need to win, when there is something at stake and when there is not. Marshall gives the example of dinner with friends. You argue about which restaurant to select. The group’s way wins and it wasn’t your choice.
The meal and the place are not great.
You have two options, you let it go and try to make the most of the evening. Or you remind everyone, on every occasion, that you were right and they should have listened to you.
How would you have acted?
2 – Adding too much value
— That’s a good idea, but it would be even better if you add that element.
“The problem is, you may have improved the content of my idea by 5 percent, but you’ve reduced my commitment to executing it by 50 percent because you’ve taken away my ownership of the idea. My idea is now your idea-and I walk out of your office less enthused about it than when I walked in.”
3 – Starting with No, But, or However…
A disguised way of saying, “I’m right, you’re wrong”.
By reducing their use, you also reduce unnecessary conflicts.
How do you avoid unnecessary discussions? (and make people around you happier)
4 – Feedforward Vs Feedback.
The concept of feedback is as old as time. Marshall found a way to turn it around. Why is this?
When you give feedback:
- You refer to the past.
- The person receiving it tends to take it personally.
- You can’t change anything that has already happened
On the other hand, “Feedforward” asks for a suggestion for the future. I want to improve in this area, give me two ideas that I could put into practice in the future.
And this method can be used at home too:
- “What can I do to be a better partner at home?
- “What can I do to be a better parent? (I tried it with my children, and the answers are interesting)
- “What can I do to be a better son?
I like the metaphor used by Marshall’s partner Frank Wagner.
The rearview mirror is tiny, the windshield is huge.
TRY FEEDFORWARD INSTEAD OF FEEDBACK
Conclusion
Although the book is initially aimed at executives who are looking to improve themselves. It will be of interest to anyone looking to get better.
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Related articles:
How To Involve Others And Boost Our Progress (and Our Careers)
The Earned Life By Marshall Goldsmith (Including 4 Practical Ideas For Living YOUR Life)
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