Want to think freely? Here are 4 ideas to get out of the cult of external validation and develop your internal validation system?

One of the criteria of a fulfilled life is “freedom.” Do what I want, with whom I want, when I want.

And we all have the impression that we make our choices freely. But is this really the case?

You often hear young children asking, “how do you like my drawing” “which one do you prefer? ” And slowly, these innocent questions become the center of a decision-making process that can follow us all our lives.

• “What do you think of my new job?”
• “Should I start this new business?”
• “What do you think of my girlfriend?”…

Here are 4 ideas to get out of the cult of external validation and develop your internal validation system?

1. Be proactive: constantly remind yourself. Our education, society, culture, and clan unconsciously push us towards more external validation. To reverse this trend, you have to be proactive.

2. First, define what “success” means. I am about to start my own business. I took a moment of personal reflection to describe what “success” meant to me. I summarize it this way.

• Work 4 to 6 hours a day.
• Work from home.
• Focus on activities I like.
• Use the power of the internet.
• Be a solopreneur (no employees)
• Manage growth to ensure I stay within these principles.

This is certainly different for many other people. But these few words allow me to define what “success” means to me now. This is my internal scorecard.

3. Do the work first. We need the contact of others. Select whom you ask and do your introspection. Your exchanges will be of better quality, and you will gain feedback that will help you improve your reflection. You won’t be bouncing from opinion to opinion.

4. When someone asks you. Hold back. Your goal is to help them find their internal system of thinking. I like to ask my children:

“And you which one is your favorite?
“Why is that your favorite?

Or to a friend who asks me if he should take a new job. “What do you think?”
“In 3 months, you would say it was a good decision if what?”

And remember.
We all have the choice to be free. But that freedom comes at a price. The price of personal reflection.

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We are birds. Let’s get out of our cages.