The trap of our strengths. I know, it’s hard to believe.
Even more so for me, a “strengthsfinder” enthusiast. A methodology that helps us recognize our strengths and capitalize on them.
I worked on it and had my teams work on it when I was in corporate.
I still think it’s an excellent approach.
And at the same time, it’s important to understand…
The shadow that runs parallel to our strengths
Strength => Superpower => Shadow
The shadow is like a sidecar; it’s always there. But it also tends to grow in proportion to our superpower.
Photo by Domenico Bandiera
Here are a few examples from Nikhil Singhal’s excellent article on the subject .
The beliefs we develop associated with our superpowers
“What got you here won’t get you there”.
In his famous book, Marshall talks about 3 beliefs around success and their associated shadows.
- I’m successful (based on the past)
- I choose to succeed (present)
- I will succeed (future)
These beliefs are important for a leader.
They make it possible to move forward when everything seems uncertain, rally people around a project, and break down mountains of difficulties…
At the same time, this energy can cast a shadow.
- The difficulty of accepting feedback not in line with the image of a successful leader.
- Not taking views seriously from people who haven’t achieved the same level of success as us.
- A form of “superstition”. It’s not part of the recipe I used so far.
- The need to win “at all costs”. When the stakes are high, low or non-existent. (how I behaved during the family bowling party)
- The challenge of pivoting to another option (I’ve always succeeded; this will work.)
The trap of our strengths. Not just in the company.
Our superpowers have an impact on our relationships at home.
My strength of concentration drives me to
- Trying to make the most of every moment (instead of being available for my loved ones)
- Be rigid (I absolutely must finish this.)
- Being too demanding with me, even when it’s not necessary.
My wife is an incredible woman. She is turned towards others. She gives selflessly to the people around her. But when she’s not careful, she gets
- Tendency to forget herself.
- Do more than enough for the other person.
- Too much commitment and not being able to handle it…
The trap of our strengths. The risk of reacting badly when you receive the first feedback…
This superpower that made us progress so quickly is starting to take us backward.
The first feedback we receive, we tend to
- Ignore: they understand nothing.
- Rebellious: I’ve built my career on this superpower. It’s part of me.
- Escape: I’ve no more chemistry with this company; I will look elsewhere.
Not dealing with the problem solves nothing. Worse, our shadow continues to grow.
And we run the risk of finding the feedback (which seems to us to be the problem) elsewhere.
A better solution is to understand what this shadow offers us regarding development opportunities.
How to use our shadows to develop our careers in 4 steps.
1/ Self-Awareness:
What are my superpowers? And what are my associated shadows?
The aim is not to stifle our superpower. After all, he’s the one who brought us this far. Right? 🙂
But instead, to maximize our strength while minimizing its drawbacks.
2/Ask for feedback.
What can I do to become a better colleague/Leader?
If you’re lucky enough to be coached. A 360° will help you understand your development zones.
2/Triggers
Let’s say my superpower is being creative. It’s been part of my success as an individual contributor. Now I manage teams. And I have this tendency to always add proposals to improve the (already good) ideas of my collaborators.
So to manage my shadow zone, I chose this behavior to improve.
“Don’t add my comments for improvement to an already good idea.”
When the trigger is there (and it’s never far away), develop other response options.
- Beforehand: write down your choices in your diary. (discover how I try to use it in my relationships with my children)
- In the moment: by taking a breath (pause) and responding intentionally (chosen, not suffered). Thank you, excellent idea.
Tell me more?
How do you plan to set it up?
If all goes well, what would be the ideal result?
What are your next actions? - Downstream: by observing what has happened and what you have learned about yourself. What I could write in my diary
“By taking a breath before answering, I managed to intentionally choose how I wanted to act. I saw on Thierry’s face the satisfaction of having found an idea that would enable us to grow. And I feel a strong commitment to putting it into practice. Where else could I reproduce this kind of behavior in my personal and professional life? “
3/ Systematizing
Once we’ve found our way of doing things, let’s systematize it.
This becomes the objective of behavior change.
But the problem…
It’s easy to understand and hard to apply.
The solution.
Practice, practice, practice until the default choice becomes our intentional choice.
An effective tool :
Active questions… (the method and the file to implement it in chapter 2 of this blog)
Continuing on my example, I might ask myself the following question:
- Did I do my best today not to add my comments to an already good idea?
A question that helps me track my progress and improve my thinking downstream in my diary.
And then…
Start again. Choose other behaviors. Transform them into visible, observable actions. Work them with the idea of maximizing our strengths and minimizing the shadows.
There’s no end to continuous improvement, and it’s certainly one of our most significant life goals.
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Question for you.
What are your superpowers and associated shadows?
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