And here’s the final episode in the series “10 principles that helped me achieve my dreams…(and could help achieve yours)”.

For those who missed the big picture, here is the link 🙂

Thank you all for your many feedbacks. I appreciate.

Today, we’re diving into the tenth principle: How to involve others and boost our progress (and our careers).

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How to involve others and boost our progress (and our careers)

“It’s been a month, and nobody’s noticed.”

My mom was right (as she often was).

For months, we talked her into quitting smoking.

One day, without telling us, she wrote the date on a pack (still full). She had just committed herself to stop smoking and never resumed after that. She was a wonderful woman.

And we, who were always complaining, didn’t even notice.

It’s easier to see what’s bothering us than to see progress.

It’s rare for people to see them. They’re too busy with themselves.
And that doesn’t encourage us to change.

What we often do and the problems it creates

• I’m doing my best, and they’ll see it in the end. I’ll be promoted, etc.
  Most of the time, we’re still waiting, and no one has noticed us.

• I know what I need to change. We assume what others expect of us without asking. They already overlook our projects when it’s something they’re interested in. So imagine when they’re not interested.

• I don’t dare ask, I don’t want to look incompetent…
  Show my vulnerabilities. No way! What will they think of me?
  But it’s (often) the other way around. The more we show them, the more they trust us and want to help.

• What’s the point of going on? No one notices, and it takes effort.
  We create a context that encourages abandonment.

A simple method (I didn’t say easy) that helps us progress and encourages the essential people around us to notice.

^{Illustrated by Pejman (PJ) Milani}

I completely overlooked it in 2013 when I first read it.

And it fascinated me when I re-read and understood it in 2022. So much that I’ve made it the focus of my (new) professional career.

What am I talking about?

“What Got You Here Won’t Get You There” and the behavior change process used by Marshall. My summary here

So here’s the look on my face when I recently discovered in the mail that Marshall Goldsmith (one of my role models) was offering me a signed version.

The concept.

We ask the important people around us:

• “What can I do to be a better dad?
• “What can I do to be a better leader?
• “What can I do to listen better?
• “What can I do for X?

We’re listening.

Without interrupting, without contradicting, without saying yes but, no but, however…

Thank you.

Whether we like it or not, we don’t forget the magic word. THANK YOU

We analyze.

This is our time for personal reflection. We didn’t promise to commit to everything we were offered.

The leaders I coach receive an average of 12 to 24 monthly suggestions. They can’t invest in everything. But they can reflect on it and select the most appropriate suggestions.
Your diary is an excellent place to do it.

We answer.

Thanks for your feedback; I’ll focus on that this month.
I need your support. Watch me and offer your suggestions.

We’re changing.
It’s not a theoretical exercise, it’s a practical one.

We monitor our progress and try again.

Month after month, we improve, and our stakeholder’s notice. Why? They’re part of the process. We directed some of their attention to the subject.

How do I know it works?

99% of leaders coached with this method achieved their objective after 9 to 12 months.

I experienced this with the first leaders I coached, where I implemented this process.

But it doesn’t just work in the workplace. You can also use it with friends and family.

My children (especially my daughter) enjoy offering their suggestions…And I confess I can’t take them all 🙂

Family members can be your most difficult stakeholders.

Conclusion.

We’re afraid to show our vulnerability, yet thanks to it, we improve, and others trust us (more).

We’re afraid to ask them for help. And yet when we do, they’re delighted and notice our progress.

The sooner we understand this, the faster we progress.

What changes would you like to make? And who are you going to involve?

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Thanks for reading. If you liked this article, you’d love my newsletter. Join a community of ambitious readers who want to succeed in their careers while enjoying their lives. Register here and receive it every Wednesday morning directly in your mailbox.

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In the same series :

• 10 principles that helped me achieve my dreams…(And that could help you achieve yours). Part 1
• Part Two
• First principle: Take 100% responsibility: the first principle to succeed in your wildest projects
• Second principle: Clarity: Focus On The Horizon, Not Our Shoes. The second principle to succeed in your wildest projects
• Third principle: Courage: Dare To Commit To Your Dreams Without Knowing How To Achieve Them..
• Fourth principle: We Have All The Time We Need To Make Our Dreams Come True.
• Fifth principle: How To Gain Confidence And Take Action: 9 Ideas To Make Our Dreams Come True
• Sixth principle: 4 Ideas To Develop Your Concentration And Find Pleasure In The Practice
• Principle seven: The secret to achieving your ambitions: choose the right measure and review it frequently.
• Eighth principle: The power of the diary: how to overcome problems and make your dreams come true?
• Ninth principle: How empathy and active listening can drive your projects (and your success)

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PS: Whenever you’re ready, here are 2 more ways I can help you accelerate your growth through coaching:

• You’re ambitious: you’ve already achieved a lot. And you intend to continue. But this time, you want to do it while enjoying the important things in your life. Curious? Click here.

• You lead a team: you know that a slight improvement in your leadership can significantly impact the team’s results and, therefore, your career. I was trained and certified by the world’s first executive coach, Marshall Goldsmith. I accompany you in your project and guarantee the result. You only pay me if you succeed. Curious? Let’s connect for a free call and see if we can work together