We run after the next object. It’s supposed to bring us more happiness. The latest iPhone, camera, a new car, house…We idolize it as our savior.
“If I had it, my life would be so much better, easier.”
I understand. It’s tempting; armies of marketers are experts in making us want. The little movie made you feel like a hero during the last iPhone campaign. I even thought of buying it while mine works very well. 🙂
My son loves legos. While he has finished building the last set he had dreamed of, he is already thinking about his next desire. Psychologists call this the “Illusion of focus.” We always give more importance to the object we are pursuing, thinking it will improve our lives. But your new thing will only have a negligible effect on your joy.
But is this necessary?
“The business of life is the acquisition of memories. At the end that’s all there is.”
– Downton Abbey
It’s a never-ending race, even if your wallet has no limits.It’s said that the two best days in a boat owner’s life are the day of buying and the day of selling. 😀
No one on their deathbed complains that they didn’t get the latest iPhone. The author Ware Bronnie, in her book “The top five regrets of the dying” summarizes them as follows.
- I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
- I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
- I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
- I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
- I wish that I had let myself be happier.
Do you see any material in it?
These points connect to relationships, emotions, and experiences, not objects. And that’s the beauty of them. They often cost little, bring a lot at the moment and create unforgettable memories.
If we know this, why don’t we practice it?
It’s easy on paper, but we often lack the reflection that precedes the intention.
We think that our lives last forever. So we put it off until later, and as a result, we let life take its course.
It’s easier to succumb to the latest fashionable object than to be alone with your thoughts and create a plan. 😀
But is it worth it?
Since I became aware of and anticipated this phenomenon, my life has become simpler.
I have drastically reduced the number of objects in our house and kept only what is useful.
The consequence? Less tidying, cleaning, and more space, time, saving, and investment.
When I want to buy something, I think twice. I leave it on my wish list for at least a month, and if I still want it, I make sure to remove something from the house.
I don’t deprive myself of anything, my view (reflection) of the big picture has changed. I believe in Infinite growth for everything immaterial (reflection) and controlled growth for everything material.
I use the time saved and invest it in improving relationships and starting new experiences. Things that often cost me less and bring me more.
4 steps to get started.
- Do a reset of what you have at home. I recommend the Marie Kondo method with her book “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up.”
- Don’t buy on a whim anymore. The latest iPhone ad tempts you. Put it on the wish list and give yourself 30, 60 days. Do you still want/need it?
- When an object obsesses you, remember the “Focusing illusion” concept. You know already how it will end up.
- Make a list of all the experiences you want to create and select those that involve relationships, learning, and focus. Start small, but start. “Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything” Book by BJ Fogg is a great place to begin.
What will I get out of this plan if I succeed in it?
You’ll go from “I spend all my money on things that bring me only ephemeral joys” to “I simplify my life, and have experiences that bring me lasting satisfaction.”
You’ll regain power over your treadmill that had gotten out of control (material) and choose the options that interest you (reflection and experience).
You’ll start rebuilding a capital that allows you to gain more tranquility and freedom.
Related articles:
You Are Your Most Important Project. Take It Seriously And Grow Yourself.
How to better manage my budget? Don’t live on a budget, live on your frame.
Financial Independence. I’m Retiring From Corporate Life At 46.
Die with Zero: Getting All You Can from Your Money and Your Life by Bill Perkins
How to build your life plan?
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