A golden cage.
I have a job I like, in a company I like, with a team I like.
On the surface, everything looks good.
Photo by Yigithan Bal
But when I dig deeper, I sense a latent form of anxiety.
A low-intensity but permanent stress that prevents me from taking full advantage of the situation.
My goal.
“I want to continue working in my structure in this job.”
The problem?
This option (the only one I think I have) doesn’t “only” depend on me.
The company is constantly evolving.
When it’s small, it’s fragile.
When it’s big, it often reorganizes itself.
In either case, I have no guarantee that my job will stay…
Especially as there are rumors in the corridors, and the economic climate has been prone to redundancies lately.
How creating options reduces stress.
Latent fears. The cause of my stress.
That’s when my little voice kicks in, helping me create false beliefs that I play over and over in my head.
- I’m no longer employable at another company.
- I don’t speak X (replace X with German, French, English…)
- I only know the system I’m working on.
- I’m too old/young.
This golden cage often pushes us into passivity.
“I’m doing well at the moment.”
But behind this décor lie our latent fears.
“And if it stopped, what would I do about it?”
- House credit
- Children’s studies
- …
So we can pretend and hope that our only option works, or proactively face our fears and create our future.
And it starts with asking the right questions…(I like the ones inspired by Dan in his book The Dan Sullivan Question. See the third book in this blog.)
How creating options for yourself reduces stress.
Photo by Te Pania ♡ on Unsplash
1- What do I want to achieve professionally in the next 3 years?
a) Staying with the company is one option.
—What can I do to maximize my chances?
- Write down all your ideas, with the aim of reaching at least 10. We all know how to brainstorm for the company. We’re doing it for us now.
- Don’t judge your ideas.
- Don’t worry about how to achieve them.
- Just write them down.
Then, keep the ones that seem the most plausible and go toward what you want to achieve.
In his book Skip the Line, James Altucher explains how writing down 10 ideas a day helped him get out of major depressive phases. He turned one of his ideas into a website where anyone can create their lists. I tried it out and achieved a strike of 506 days.
b) Create options by broadening our thinking.
A unique option that doesn’t depend on us, however good it may be, is frightening.
Thinking more broadly, we move from a state of fear to a state of creation.
In our example, this could be :
- How can I test my employability outside the company?
- What gaps do I need to close?
- German is essential in my line of work.
- How do I set up a learning plan?
Doing so creates outside options while increasing my chances of staying with the company.
2-To get closer to my ideal over the next 3 years, what are the dangers (fears/state of mind) I need to eliminate?
- Stop putting me down.
- Move from I’m no longer “employable” to I can create many options for myself (Designing Your Life. This book offers an excellent guide to creating new possibilities for yourself).
- Stop running away from people. Start meeting them
- Stop thinking that my work will be recognized. Start promoting my successes.
3-To get closer to my ideal over the next 3 years, what opportunities do I need to capture?
- Learning German. Use the resources offered by my company.
- Get closer to my network. Write down the names of all my contacts (phone, email, social networks)
- Make a list.
- Prepare a simple approach message.
- Contact 2 people a day from my network.
4-To get closer to my ideal over the next 3 years, what strengths do I need to capitalize on?
We never start from scratch. Every experience gained in our industry reveals a multitude of sub-skills.
When I dig into these skills, many are transferable.
From executive to independent coach.
I made an abrupt career change from COO for an international technology group to independent coach.
If I let my little voice take control. She’ll come up with lots of reasons why it couldn’t work.
But if I dig intentionally, I find plenty of options for skills transfer.
- I’ve informally coached my teams in the corporate world for over 3,000 hours.
- Selling has taught me to ask the right questions.
- Working closely with the marketing and business development teams taught me how to create a business from scratch.
- Sitting in important meetings has taught me to understand working executives’ major problems and needs.
- And I can go on and on…
This is true at all levels and for all functions. Our journey has given us a wealth of experience to reuse to achieve our new dreams.
How to make the most of our past experiences to create our future
I like Mike Kim’s model in his book “You Are the Brand” for recognizing expertise.
Excerpt from the book
“One day I jotted down a short list of things I did in these roles, which looked something like this:
- I taught high school students.
- I spoke at church.
- I wrote songs.
- I led meetings for music team volunteers.
- I marketed the albums we recorded.
- I hosted conferences for the church.
Then it hit me. All I had to do was cross out the end of each of those sentences:
- I taught
high school students. - I spoke
at church. - I wrote
songs. - I led meetings
for music team volunteers.. - I marketed
the albums we recorded. - I hosted conferences
for the church. ”
For so much of our lives, we see ourselves through the lens of a company, organization, or role rather than the skills we possess or who we inherently are. We fail to see our unique expertise.
Conclusion.
It’s often said that having only one option or wanting something too much is a weakness in negotiation.
In our case, we negotiate with our little voice. And we know all her cards.
Let’s use this advantage.
In doing so, we move from a state of fear to a state of creation.
The 4 C’S Formula-Dan Sullivan
Proactive thinking gives us clarity. Clarity gives us options and the courage to launch new actions. These new actions help us to develop new skills. These new skills give us confidence.
Thank you
Dror Allouche
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Question for you.
In what part of your life are you stuck with just one option? And what can you do today to change that?
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